Anti essays for Students who Know Too Much!Monday, February 7th, 2011
How to write the perfect anti essay
There are a couple of reasons for wanting to write horrible, a-sure-failure essays, or as we could call them, anti essays. First, if you have such a high mark in literature, then you want to amuse your teacher or your classmates with a terrible work, for a change. Second, if you have already failed the course, and you are tired of trying. Third, if you want to be a part of the group, but your essays are so perfect that everyone thinks of you as the nerd. Last but not least, you may read these indications just for fun, considering that an anti essay is the exact opposite that you should do if you want to pass the course. We have warned you!
Choosing the anti topic
Remember how we always say that for your essay writing you should pick a topic you find interesting? Ok, so for your anti essay, choose the most boring topic you can possible find. Write about something that will make you snooze, and try to transmit this feeling to your teacher. For example, when writing a personal essay, tell about a day in your life in which the most interesting that happened to you was finding a quarter on the floor. If you need to write a history essay, talk about dates (and not about much else).
Another thing you can do is writing an essay on a very general topic. Title your essay “What is freedom”, or something like that. That would make for a perfect anti essay!
Always talking about anti essays, plagiarism is ok. In fact, plagiarize as much as possible! Copy entire pages of books and don’t even think about mentioning the author! In fact, the most well-known the author or the quotes, the most terrible the essay will be (but that’s the point of it, right?).
Why constraining yourself to books? Fill your assignment with quotes from TV commercials, videos from YouTube, lame love songs, or something your best friend said at a party, and mention these as “authorities”. Another good thing to do is repeating the exact words your teacher once said, but take totally out of context. Once he or she marks them in red, you get the chance to complain and say: “But sir / madam, how can this be wrong when you said it yourself?”.
The final touch
If you are going for an anti essay, do it the whole way! Edit and proofread your work in order to check that there is a misspell at least in every page. If possible, write your teacher’s name the wrong way, and write resembling the oral style as much as possible: why writing “Jefferson was the American President by that time” when you can write “there was this dud Jefferson, right? And he was, I don’t know, president or something…”. There you go! The perfect anti essay!
A final tip: if you write anti essays even when you don’t intend to, and you want a good mark for a change, you can always buy custom essays from us!