The Perfect Anti Essay in 3 StepsMonday, March 7th, 2011
Writing anti essays requires some effort
An anti essay? Are you sure you read this right? Why on Earth would anyone want to write such a thing? Of course, by anti essays we mean awful, sure-failure essays. However, it is possible that you are tired of getting straight A’s, and for once you would like to have a laugh at your teacher or classmates. Writing a horrible paper would be something new!
Then, there’s the chance you already know for sure you have failed the course, and therefore, you’ve decided you won’t try anymore. Third, if you want to fit in, but your essays are so damn perfect that everyone thinks of you as the class nerd. Last but not least, you may read these indications just for fun, as long as you remember that the anti essay is the exact opposite that you should do if you want a good essay marking, or at least an acceptable one. Keep reading at your own risk! Here you will learn how to write an anti essay in 3 simple steps.
Step #1: The perfect anti topic
We always insist students that they find the most interesting possible topic for their assignment. Forget about it! For your anti essay, choose the most boring topic you can find. Write about something that will make you snooze, and try to pass this feeling to your teacher. For example, if you need to write a history essay, talk about dates (and not about much else). Another thing you can do is writing the essay on a very general topic. Title your essay “What is moral”, or something like that.
Step #2: Quoting wrong!
Always talking about anti essays, plagiarism is ok. Actually, you should plagiarize as much as you can! Why not copying entire pages of books? Don’t even think about mentioning the author! In fact, the most well-known the author or the quotes, the most terrible the essay will be.
Don’t constrain yourself to books! Fill your essay writing with quotes from TV commercials, videos from YouTube, lame love songs, or something your best friend said at a party, and mention these as “authorities”. Another good thing to do is repeating the exact words the teacher once said, but taken totally out of context…
Step #3: Anti grammar!
Don’t be humble when it comes to writing a perfect anti essay! If you are still writing coherent sentences, or spelling words right, you could definitely improve the disaster! Therefore, remember to edit and proofread your essay in order to check that there is a misspell at least in every page. If possible, write your teacher’s name the wrong way, and write resembling the oral style as much as possible: why writing “Kennedy was the American President by that time” when you can write “there was this dud Kennedy, right? And he was, I don’t know, president or something…”. That’s it! The perfect anti essay!
(And if you write anti essays even when you don’t mean to, and you want a nice mark this time, you can buy custom essays from us!).